Sermon

Found this - the sermon our pastor preached the day we shared with our church our plan to adopt Zeph... coincidence? There are none with God!

2 Weeks HOME!!!

Two weeks ago we came HOME! I have to say the first week was rough - mostly because Evie got hives and then we had kids throwing up, we didn't feel so great, had hardly any sleep (jet-lag), and the list goes on. This past week, our second week home has had it's challenges but it's still SO wonderful to be home and to have our FOUR kiddos here with us! I put Zeph in this oh-too-cute "rocker" outfit today and had to take some pictures. He just ATE up the camera with his smiles (he didn't literally eat our camera). We even "rocked" bedtime tonight with the kids - I got my guitar out and we all sang songs, worship songs, silly songs, kid's songs. Then they all went to bed peacefully - NOT! Ha, ha! Eventually they were all in bed and soon so shall I be! Happy night!

I LOVE this face (below), don't you?

In Mommy's lap (below):

Feel free to ignore the laundry piled up inside our doorway. Zeph was playing "coo-coo" (Peek-a-boo) with our door.

Food and other things to cry about.

Tonight I'm posting for those who've adopted and can relate and for those considering adoption especially. I just want you to see that even though this is WONDERFUL and we are SO BLESSED to have Zeph in our family - it's not easy. And forgive the long post! It's getting easier and harder at the same time. Zeph is adjusting - but not always smoothly. Some things are harder than others. Some things are still just setting in. It hasn't even been 2 weeks since we landed back home. Some behaviors are going away - some are just now surfacing. Today required a bit more patience for me as a mommy.

In the last few days Zeph has become much more panicky about food, as if he's starving. He screams for more while his mouth is full, even while there is plenty of food on his tray. He begs for more the moment one meal is over. Every morning there is yelling and throwing himself back and crying because one banana is not enough. Two bananas would not be enough, nor 3 nor 4. He doesn't want it to end. I think it's a comfort for him or maybe he's just thrown so terribly off because there isn't a staff (like at the orphanage) to serve up meals right on "time" at the exact same time every day - plus I'm sure the food is a bit different here (maybe banana is familiar so he wants more, more, more - of familiarity). It hurts my heart to tell him no - but I can't let him shovel food in his mouth every waking moment. He is desperate, tries to get into the cupboards, climb shelves (thankfully our shelves are anchored) and I can't leave one crumb on the floor or he goes "hunting" for it under the table. I offer snacks frequently but I can only give so many crackers or pieces of fruit before it, well, affects his tummy. It's not about being "full" for him. I think it's emotional eating of some kind. As if he'll never see food again so he better eat all he can while he can.

He's in "survival" mode, which is putting his mama in "survival" mode at the moment. If Zeph is not screaming or whining about food then he is screaming or crying about something else. He is so frustrated because there is so much to learn right now and he's probably feeling so lost. Lost in the "rules". Three toddlers and a 5 year old - sharing is not mastered or even familiar to most of them. Constant taking and giving back of toys, sippy cups and bottles. Trying to occupy Zeph and engage him is not so easy but it pays off. I took all 4 kids out just on our street (sidewalk) for a walk. I pushed the two little ones in the double stroller, Nathanael rode his trike and Arielle pushed her baby in the toy stroller. It was warm and sunny and we all needed the fresh air and sunshine. Zeph was calm and happy. No sight of food (here he knows food is in the kitchen and he HATES watching it be prepared or cooking - he PANICS. In the orphanage it was prepared in the kitchen - he didn't see it until it was SERVED). After dinner Zeph got a bath - the first bath that he actually SAT in the water, laughed and played with toys! Putting him down for bed was a bit tougher tonight. He was gleeful about getting his bottle - 2 oz of mama milk (breast-milk) but when I held him and gave it to him he threw himself back and screamed in a fit. I had no clue why. I put him down for a second, which made him more upset. I picked him back up and he took it. Go figure. Usually when he's done with the small amount of milk I'm able to provide him with we give him a bottle with water or cow's milk - tonight he was outraged when I gave him the new bottle. I had already put him in the crib and he was trying to bang the bottle against the crib and throwing it. Eventually he took it but not before showing his disgust.

I'm thankful for a midnight breather. A moment of peace and quiet. A moment to remember that this little boy is going through more than I can imagine. A moment to ask God to give me wisdom, strength and endurance... and grace for my short-comings. At mid-night I'm exhausted but finding peace and rest in this pre-bedtime moment of re-charging. Tomorrow I get up early and start over. More crying, whining, screaming, frustration, head-banging, biting, pushing, taking. More messes, cooking, cleaning, diapers, medicines. If I thought of it only in that way it wouldn't work. If I forget about the hugs, kisses, laughter, smiles, new discoveries, fun activities, new memories, relationships building, skills mastered, new words spoken (and signed), trust built, routine setting, character building, sun-shining, and all the positive happenings of each day - then I wouldn't be doing this - staying at home with four crazy little kids all day every day. And my joy cannot depend on THEM. I MUST get my joy and strength from GOD. They are helpless children. I'm a grown-up. I have to love them even when they don't love back. Even when they scream in my face (and Zeph, in particular, has learned how to make his voice heard - loudly). I have to have FAITH that seeds sewn each day will one day reap a beautiful harvest of plenty. I have to believe that they are - each one - WORTH investing in. Raising three little ones can wear on you. Adding another child with physical special needs and (of course coming from orphanage life) major delays and emotional issues and transitioning into family life = draining - very draining. Is it worth it? YES. Do I want to start all over and do it again right now? Um - no. (Ask a woman who just gave birth if she wants to start labor and birth all over just then - NO! Give her some time - then she "forgets" the pain for the joy ahead) Am I glad we did this? - YES. Do we still need prayer? Yes, please!

Pumpkin Patch!

Today we enjoyed the very nice warm weather, hardly fall-like, by going out to the pumpkin patch and letting the kids just enjoy each other, the outdoors, pumpkin picking for Nathanael, and riding in a wheel barrel. What fun they had! These are the cute pictures... before everyone got tired and we went home ;) Sorry my post is not longer - mommy is BUSHED! Enjoy!

One down, two to go.

Sorry - no pictures on this post (yet). I'm soooo tired. I used to wonder why people posted on their blog then when they got home posts were either non-existant or few and far between. Now I know why! We just need to put so much focus and attention on not only little Zeph but all our children - and each other. Scott goes back to work tomorrow. We still have not quite unpacked. We got home and hit the ground running and I feel like we have not stopped running. Everyone is still adjusting to the time, a new family member (and Zeph is adjusting to a whole lot more than that!). Please continue to pray for our family during these transition times.

We took Zeph to see the eye/ear/throat doctor tonight and they diagnosed him with http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laryngomalacia Laryngomalacia. We are so thankful that it is not a serious condition, does not need any treatment, and is usually outgrown as the child grows. I admit - I'm going to be annoyed until I can used to hearing his breathing sounds - and NOT thinking as a mommy that he sounds like he is sick and congested (not feeling like I want to help him "get better"). I still don't understand why Zeph breaths primarily through his mouth instead of his nose - maybe with the tiny bit of obstruction it's easier for him to breath through his mouth???

Anyways - I'm sure I'll have much more to share later on and more adorable pictures of our family and the kiddos. But for now I am going to try to take a little less time - not post every single day anymore - to free up more time and energy to put into our family right now. God Bless and stay tuned!

Settling in

We've been home for a few days now and it is slow getting used to the time change again and lack of sleep. Despite that Zeph is one happy kid (most of the time - nap and night time can be rough on any 2 year old, especially with so much change in his life).

I haven't had time, of course, to decorate but I did take a few moments today to make a "Center" piece (I know I'm a nerd) with the pumpkin my mom gave me and four little ones - the kids are very excited about making pumpkin pie out of these!

Zeph was getting frustrated trying to pick up certain foods from his bowl and wanted to do it himself (hmmm. sounds like a two year old thing to me) so I gave him a fork and he loved trying to use it.

He also had his first bath here and we are starting slow with it. No hair-washing. Not even soap yet. Just let him see it was okay to be in the water - maybe even fun! Then he wanted out. We'll try again and see if he can get used to it so we can move on to tub toys and hair washing.

Mimi and Papi came over on Saturday night and Papi was so excited to get to meet Zeph. Zeph came right up to him and gave him a hug :)

We've got an appointment to see the neurologist and the ears, nose and throat doctor. Should hear from the Ortho soon. Wish I had caught on video tonight Zeph pronounced "hello" perfectly. He's picking up words here and there. It's so neat to hear him say a new word. He's even working on his own name. He says "Zeph" (but it sounds like "Zeppppffff") and he is trying very hard to say "Zephaniah": "Zepppfff iah".

We made it! We are HOME!

We are HOME!!! I will have to blog the longer story later - right now I'm so tired I can't think! But after a long journey and 3 planes and some hitches along the way - we are all finally HOME! I tried to update our blog but sorry if it's slow-going. Zeph just loves being able to explore and play here! His first night went so well too! I rocked him to sleep with a bottle and he went out like a light. We were able to get him seen by our Pediatrician today and get some things rolling for him. He needs to see some specialists soon for some possibly serious issues but at least today our pediatrician was confident that he did not have a heart condition (which he was officially diagnosed with from his records at the orphanage) so that is great news! We arrived in our nearby airport around midnight this morning and it's been a long, LONG day/night so I will leave you with just a few pictures and will upload the rest some other time. Thank you EVERYONE so very much for helping us and following along in prayer and encouragement and giving to help little Zeph come home! I hope these pictures and those to come will serve as a testimony that these children are so priceless and so very precious. We think we have come home with a real sweet little "treasure" and we are so excited with anticipation to watch God's plan for Zeph's life unfold before our eyes! Thank you for being part of this journey!

And don't judge - he was in the pink stroller because his shorter leg was coming out of the other stroller so we switched him and Evie because Evie's had a harness straps on hers and also reclined for when he was out. Alas - that stroller is toast now (thank you, airport for breaking it). The security guys made a glove balloon for Evie - picture of her playing with it. Zeph kept busy on the planes by looking at a "book" - the diagram showing the plane and emergency info on it - he, he! He loves books!

Please pray.

We are trying to get packed up and then go to sleep before we wake up in the morning to fly home. We just got a call from a neighbor that some people just walked out of our front door. My mom has been house sitting for us but was gone at the time. The people had a box and a bag (presumably full of our things). Please keep this situation in prayer. We have no idea what they might have taken but this is not good. We are so close - SO CLOSE to being home! I dont' know how I will be able to sleep tonight or on the plane. Scott's having my mom meet the police and make a report right now. I'll update once she gets there and finds out anything.

I had some cute photos to upload tonight but so much time has been taken up trying to deal with the break-in/trespassing situation that now we just have to focus on finishing up packing and doing a little clean-up and catching some zzzs before we get up, get the kids fed, dressed and ready to fly home tomorrow. Yes - that's right - we got Zephaniah's Visa (some GOOD news!) and we can now all fly home! Praise God for that! Can't wait to be home, just wish we knew who was recently in ours and how they got in (sounds like the 3 bears, huh? Who used our dishes? - My mom was there last night. Came to make the police report and noticing things changed all around in the house. Creepy). I know you're all just DYING to see more ADORABLE photos of Zeph (and our other cute-nesses) but I'm just afraid it will have to wait until we are HOME!

Update: We found out who may have gone into our home without permission but it's a long story and we have heavy hearts. Thankfully, it doesn't look like there is any damage to our home and nothing obvious stolen but we will have to look closer when we return and see if anything is missing. How bitter-sweet. Lord, help us not to let Satan steal this beautiful joy we have in bringing our little boy home! It's now almost 2am here and we are so tired. What a crazy day and night this has been! I pray our flights will go smooth without any hitches or long layovers.

Precious Lord, take my hand, lead me on, help me stand. I am tired. I am weak. I am worn. Through the storm, through the night. Lead me on to the light. Take my hand, Precious Lord and lead me home. :)

First U.S. Embassy appointment

Tuesday, October 11th. Thank you so very much to the one(s) who have donated to Zeph's adoption funds! Just a quick reminder: 1 or 2 days left to donate tax-deductible through Reece's Rainbow, if you were thinking about it. After that we'll still be able to fund-raise through the end of October with the "Scentsy" fund-raiser and "Just Love Coffee" will have our store up for one more year to help with costs related to caring for an adopted special needs child.

Ah! No pictures today but I promise to put some more up soon!

Our date to go to the U.S. embassy and turn in some paperwork, pay the fee for Zephaniah's visa. But today was also a heated day here in the same city we are in because one of the largest trials had taken place and today the sentence was handed down - 7 years in prison to the ex-prime minister. There were large crowds and police all over the place. There were "scuffles" but no riots, thank God. It's a very heated matter here and it could have been worse. We are thankful it was not. When we arrived at the U.S. Embassy there was some problem with the door being broken (??) so we waited a few minutes but then our facilitator lead us parallel to a large line of people, passing them all by. All six of us. Large families are practically un-heard of here. Further, we were being glared at. It was obvious we were American and so many of those people would be waiting hours and hours in line at the chance to get a visa to travel here for whatever reason. We were sent to the very front, opened the door and we walked right in, our appointment had been for 9am. We went through security, gave them all 5 of our passports, went on to the place to give them the papers they needed, paid the fee for Zeph's visa and then were told we have to come back tomorrow at 2pm for another appointment to sign papers and be interviewed.

I couldn't help but feeling like we are so very blessed to be on our way home - to have such a place for a home! I felt like a titanical ship was sinking and we were granted passage on a lifeboat. It occurred to me the picture here - we have adopted Zephaniah - he will soon have something none of those people have (at least not easily) - American citizenship. Automatic. Done deal. He's "in" once we reach U.S. soil he becomes an American automatically. The world is drowning. Drowning in sin, in hopelessness, in fear, in sadness, loneliness. But God made the way through Christ so we could become citizens of Heaven. You've all seen that sticker or t-shirt "Not of This World". What meaning it has. This was but a small taste of what it will feel like to be at the great judgement and see all the poor souls who will not be able to enter in through the gates of heaven. How will they glare at us? How will we wish we could take just one more with us? How will we wish we had shown love to them so they, too, would want to follow God? And then what joy will we feel to finally be "home", to have made it, to hear "well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of the Lord".

As we get ever so close to returning home with our little boy anticipation builds! We long for home.

We ask for prayer. Zephaniah has many diagnosis we did not know about until the day we met him here in his country. We know he is our son so it did not matter. Of greatest concern to us is that we find out if he has a seizure disorder or something particular causing seizures. We pray it will not be serious. The seizures, we were told, started as febrile seizures (usually temporary condition related to fever) but that just recently he's had a grand-mal seizure and some other "episodes" (non-febrile). There are also concerns about his circulation, temperature regulation, possible (diagnosed here) brain abnormalities, heart condition, hernia, and the list goes on. In addition we suspect a possible type of infection and are praying he will test negative for it. We are trying very hard to get him an appointment to be seen as soon as it is possible in the States. We want all of this free and clear (or cared for as best as possible) so we can focus on bonding and family time. We are praying for fast appointments, smooth and fast referrals, caring and wise doctors. Most of all we are praying for healing. Yes. We want tests to show he's healed. I'm sure this is what every parent would want. No parent wants their child to suffer.

We thought we'd come home with a relatively healthy child and just be working on getting him fitted so he could walk (and trust me - this is coming! He really wants to walk!). This is more than we first figured but we know God has a plan through this and we know He is going to have the last say here. He is The Great Physician and He gives wisdom to whom He chooses - so please pray that He will impart wisdom to us, as Zeph's parents, wisdom to the health-care providers as well.

Medical was today - and we have a new fund-raiser!!

Denise Landingham, a Scentsy consultant (who happens to be Rachel's sweet Auntie) informed me that she is doing a Scentsy party fundraiser "Scentsy for Wallace"! She is donating all her profits towards the adoption expenses. The party will run 'til the end of October and it will be up on the side of this blog with the other fundraisers. This would be a great way to buy some nice Christmas presents ahead of time! Maybe make your house smell like pumpkin pie even when you're not baking one!

Today Scott took Zephaniah for his medical appointment. We bundled him up in his coat and hat. It went well and we now have the sealed envelope we need to take to the embassy with us tomorrow! Yippee!

Once he was home little Zeph took his medicine, had some lunch and took a nap and I just had to catch a sweet picture or two of him napping, so precious.
Later on his pants got messy (actually those were Nathanael's pants rolled up! Zeph's jeans are STILL drying on the rack here!) and all I had left that was clean and dry was... Some of Evie's 18 month stretchy pants, which worked perfectly for the afternoon and Zeph had fun taking one pant leg off and putting his leg back in a few times.

To end this post I leave you with some adorable photos of story-time in our apartment. Don't let the sappy-happy photo fool you into thinking they all closed their eyes and drifted peacefully to sleep tonight! Nope! They all think this is one big party and nobody wants to sleep here. We are very much looking forward to being back home where bedtime routines can once again take place a little easier! 3 days left, but who's counting, right?

P.S. - check back later and I should have a chance at some point to download some cute video of Zeph saying English words and signing!!!

Sunday - in our apartment

It's raining, cold and cloudy. We are all shut up here in this little apartment and we all want OUT. We all want to be home. 4...more...days... til we fly outta here!

I caught a picture yesterday of all 4 of our little munchkins together!

I also snapped a picture yesterday of Zephaniah drinking his beloved "baba". He obviously was used to laying down (in his crib or playpen) to drink. Us holding him while he drinks is new to him - and he loves it.

Tomorrow we have Zeph's medical appointment for the U.S. embassy requirements for his visa. Praying it goes smooth and well! Tuesday we have the embassy paperwork appointment and then Wed. should be the interview appointment. Thursday we plan to fly home and be home by Friday!

Sorry this is not much of a post and I took few pictures today - trying to keep 4 little ones happy and not fighting over the few toys and activities available is keeping us on our toes in a very NON-baby-proofed apartment. Just wanted to sneak something on our blog, though - so here you go!

Gotcha NIGHT!

Court decree - check. New birth certificate - check. Passport - check. Zephaniah - We GOT HIM!! I felt like it was "mission impossible" last night as we went to pick up Zephaniah. It was dark and quiet in the orphanage. They had bathed him. I brought clothes and pajamas for him (wasn't sure they would have a set "he must wear this"). They let me choose and help get him dressed. I chose pajamas because it was late and cold - and those pjs are so darn cute on him! I also added a hat, sock, and heavy coat over pjs. It wasn't at all the way I'd pictured it - "gotcha day" where you take a bazillion pictures and make a big to-do about it. The caretakers on the night shift sweetly said goodbye and gave us instructions on some medicine he needs to take. He knew he was going on a train and was so excited! While we waited for the train to come I wore him in an ergo carrier (so glad you let me borrow this, Jess!) - but he was SO tired (way past his bedtime) he started fussing (head-butting and slapping me in the face) so I got the idea to wear him on my back - that did the trick! He just looked around and was nodding off, just not enough to fully be asleep. I think the front-carry was just to up-close and personal for him - he doesn't seem to be used to being carried a lot, close to someone's face a lot :( So that was my way of still letting him feel safe and close to mama, be able to see his daddy - but not have his senses overwhelmed when he's so used to going to bed asleep in his crib alone.

We had 2 minutes - 120 seconds to get all the kids and all our stuff on the train. That was quite the adventure! We are so grateful our facilitator and driver were so helpful to us. Next was the challenge of getting four VERY excited children to ALL go to sleep in a train but by God's Grace - literally - Scott sang Zeph to sleep with "Amazing Grace". We did not sleep well on the train, unfortunately, and are so, so tired! We have arrived to our apartment in the main city here and the little ones have all been excitedly running around getting into whatever they can, exploring and getting to know each other. We are tired (to say the least!) but so happy to have our little Zeph with us now!

Welcome to our family, Zephaniah!!!!!!

Welcome to our family Zephaniah Center! Daddy has the court decree - you are now OUR SON, our children's brother, parent's grandchild! Daddy is running to get your birth certificate changed, your passport, and then we will see you tonight when we pick you up from the orphanage. Mommy and Daddy already signed the orphanage papers so we can just come get you tonight! We are so excited for you to start your new life and your new future with us!

On this day...(Arielle's Birthday Post!)

This post is really for tomorrow but I don't know how busy things will be trying to get ready for "gotcha day" for Zephaniah...which is landing on Arielle's 3rd birthday. That's right - "gotcha day" will always also be Arielle's birthday! Here's a picture of our little (sniff, sniff!) soon-to-be THREE-YEAR-OLD!

Turning two (below)....




















And just before she turned one - across the other side of the world a little boy was fighting for his life, born premature at 2.2 pounds and left to be cared for by doctors and nurses, his parents decided they did not want him. He did not fight alone, for there was the help of the staff. But it is not the same as having a mommy and daddy there when you are first born, especially if you are so little, helpless, and so vulnerable. Little did I know that just over 2 years later - we would adopt that little boy. When I was baking this cake for my first little "princess" - my newest little "prince" was being given up, becoming an orphan. So amazing to look back because just after Arielle's birthday here (below) I had talked with Scott about us wanting to adopt and Scott didn't feel the timing was right, yet I felt so strongly this tug that we NEEDED to adopt, that someone needed us. So glad I followed my husband's lead, for soon after we learned that little Evie was on her way! And then when Evie was 6 months old we saw a picture on the Reece's Rainbow "waiting children" page - we saw our little boy - the one who was in our hearts when he was born - we were looking at his picture and starting the process to adopt him. All of our children are such a blessing to us - each one!






























We'll have to wait 'til after we are home to celebrate Arielle's 3rd birthday (and Zeph's 2nd birthday, and adoption). But it sure is amazing to count our blessings - to look back and see how our little girl is growing and blossoming and remember the sweet little bud she was when she was born - almost 3 years ago!

October 6th, 2011 - Last Orphanage Visit!

OUTSIDE!!!! The sun actually came out today from the clouds. Though it was still a bit chilly out - when Scott went to visit Zeph today he decided he and his son were going outside to enjoy their visit on this crisp fall day. They bundled him in a little purple snow suit, as you can see. What a great way to end the visits! Tomorrow evening we don't go to visit - we go to get him out...for good... to come home with us... to his new home. It may be a tough transition for him. He does not understand the future he is leaving behind. I cannot imagine this sweet, precious little LOVE being transferred to a mental institution. But that is the path he is no longer going to be on. Now I'm hearing that he's old enough and ready (pulling himself up to stand - ha! Try trying to walk, regardless if his foot isn't there! Try climbing up everything! And yes, he pulls himself right up to stand) to be fitted for a prosthetic foot/leg. Lord, help us, once he's on his feet! He's a little ball of energy, spunk, and I can't wait to see the wonderful plans, the life in store for our little boy! I don't know yet if/when we'll have internet access again so this *might* be our last post for awhile (but if we do have access of course I'll attempt to post something brief here and there). We hope to fly home on the 13th of October and be home by the 14th! Thank you to everyone who has prayed, given, followed, shared, loved, cared, cried, laughed and smiled with us through this time in our family and for Zeph's journey. May God bless you all!