If I had a nickel for every time....

When it rains, it pours. Sunday we missed church. I just couldn't get all four ready in time since I hadn't laid out their clothes and packed the diaper bags and pre-made breakfast the night before. We were annoyed with each other, even arguing. We had friends coming over to hang out for Scott's birthday. We decided it was really dumb to fight over not making it to church (of all things!) and resolved our conflict. Then I rushed off to the store to grab some chicken and veggies to make for dinner. While I was there I got a call from Scott. He was changing one of the littles when he heard Arielle gagging. He ran over but she was no longer gagging - just crying and saying she had swallowed a coin. He showed Nathanael some coins and asked him which one she swallowed. Nathanael chose the nickel. I told Scott I'd call the advice nurse. The nurse advised that since the coin had been swallowed that we should just wait for it to pass through her. That didn't sit right with me. I rushed home, yes, I drove a bit on the fast side. When I opened the front door there was my usually calm and easy-going little girl grabbing her throat and crying hysterically that she had a coin in her. She had thrown up - but no coin. I heard an odd sound come out of her mouth and Scott and I decided she was going in...period. We said goodbye to our friends who had just arrived. We grabbed the kids and got into the car. Arielle threw up again - again, no coin. I got out of the car and got her out, took off her puked on dress and ran her into the urgent care. It was 3:15pm. I explained my fear that a coin was stuck in her and could, at any moment, block her airway. They calmly told me that they can't guarantee she'd be seen before 5:30pm. What? I told them NO WAY and explained again that she was throwing up and it could come up or get turned in a way that blocked her airway - hello??? So they found a pediatric appointment for 4:15pm down the hall. I hadn't had lunch yet and we were SUPER early for that appointment so I grabbed a muffin from their cafe (took 1 minute - I felt guilty but I was shaking and needed something). We sat in the waiting room, my shirtless Arielle on my lap, me ravishing away the muffin. Another mom walked in with her son - she probably thought I was nuts from the look on her face. To my surprise they called us in right away. The pediatrician couldn't see anything and didn't hear anything unusual in her breathing. Just to be safe she had already ordered an x-ray when she saw what we were coming in for. I told Arielle she was going to get a "big picture" taken of her tummy. She was a little nervous once on the x-ray table but I told her to just look at the camera and I stood behind the glass - also where the monitor was that showed the x-ray picture - and I GASPED, I almost screamed when I saw this:

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I tried to stay calm so she would not be frightened. But I knew what I had seen. By this time Scott had learned from our older son what happened: He told Arielle to close her eyes, lay down and open her mouth - then he dropped a coin in. They came in and told me they'd have to put her to sleep and have a special ENT (ears, nose, throat) doctor come get it out. Scott took the three kids to his mom's nearby and despite nothing being packed, planned or ready she took them for the evening. Scott came back and joined me with Arielle. She had been happily playing with my hair for quite some time - I had a lovely puff ball for hair! She had begun having drool and other common symptoms. Scott took a turn holding her. She gagged a bit - nothing came out. The nurses were all concerned - telling us if she seems like she can't get air to tell us right away as it would require emergency surgery. Thankfully, she remained able to breath and fell asleep in daddy's arms for her very late nap. Hours passed. The team was assembled, the operating room reserved. They decided not to give her an IV for fear she'd cry and the coin would turn and block her airway. Instead they chose to use gas to put her under. One of the anesthesiologists said his little girl had the same birthday, a couple years earlier. They gave her a teddy with a matching hat. She wasn't impressed. She wanted the monitors off of her, the cap off, the covers off, the bear gone and she wanted down. I told her she had to have the doctor take out the coin.

They rolled her out to the operating room and I can't explain the emotions that ran through me. We waited. Apparently we waited in the wrong waiting room because it was taking longer than we expected (we started to worry) and they were wondering where her parents "went". They found us and called us at the same time. We rushed to her side where she was crying. She felt terrible. She's always a bit cranky after a nap - but this was probably the worst she's felt waking up. They wanted to give her a sedative to calm her down. Instead I held her and she was comforted. She kept asking for the IV (they put it in while she was out) and other things to be off her. I told her the Dr. would take them off soon. She did so well. She was amazing.
She rested a little longer then they took all the "stuff" off and bundled her up and took her HOME. I am so, so, SO very thankful to God for letting us keep our little Arielle. I'm thankful for family to help with our kids and I'm thankful for doctors who were loving, patient, kind and skilled. One more thing to be thankful for this up-coming Thanksgiving. Oh - and it WAS a nickel. Let's just say coins are now banned from our house and a certain big-brother had a nice talk with mommy and daddy about the seriousness of putting things like coins in people's mouths.

Riding along

Yesterday we went for a walk around the block, to the mail box, and back. The little ones rode in the wagon gleefully and Nathanael followed on his trike. We enjoyed a cool, breezy (but not cold) afternoon playing in the backyard after that. The kids were not fans of having a picture taken when they wanted this thing to MOVE - he, he. So this is my best shot.

I'd been hearing other families report that their adopted children from the same country (and other countries) have come home with "little friends" (parasites) but today we got a call from the pediatrician saying Zeph's results came back negative - he's free and clear of any little pests.

This evening we took Zeph to get a C.T. scan and he was not happy - not at all. They wrapped him up in a sheet so he'd be still enough. He screamed, "Aaa - daaa" (All done!) 'til it was over. Soon as he came through the doors with his daddy (only one parent allowed, I waited in the next room) he had a big ol' grin on his face, so happy it was over and that it despite his fears it did not hurt or involve us leaving him (well, mama did go out for a little while but daddy was there and mama was there soon-after).

Tuesday he gets evaluated, possibly fitted for his prosthetic foot! I plan to ask them, while there, what kind of shoe(s) we can get him that will fit his enlarged foot (NOTHING - not one kind of slipper or shoe I've found - and I've tried quite a few - has fit him!) and then also if we'd need to just get a similar shoe for the prosthetic or what-not - ?? I have no clue. All I know is that Zeph loves to cure his boredom with the game of "take my sock off and lose it" which has resulted in some very cute monkey socks disappearing for good. Muahahaha - this is me laughing in a plotting manner to find a SHOE that this little guy can't take off so easily! Really, though, I'm just so very excited that he will soon be able to start learning how to walk! We plan to take pictures of his first "steps" (with both his natural and prosthetic feet together) and send those to the orphanage and include them in our first post-adoption report.

Window coloring and books

Just a small-ish update today. I had more pictures but can't seem to find the small little camera (that some little 5 year old boy keeps snatching and using to take pictures of his toys). So this will have to tie you over until I find it - or until it is turned in or confiscated - he, he. What you see above is the older children writing on our back (kitchen) door - and yes - I am LETTING them! They are using window crayons. Note: I think window MARKERS would be better and come off easier. But whatever - they had fun coloring and practicing letters of the alphabet on the windows. Yes, it's messy. Yes, it got all over the door, the walls, the children. Yes, it was worth it! Rainy days are just terrible for little ones. They LOVE the outdoors so they start climbing the walls when they haven't been out for awhile. I had to give them a fun activity and this was IT! Zeph was more interested in a book but was happy about the energy and excitement in our home. Evie tried to join in the bunch but I didn't give her a crayon either because I didn't really feel like seeing colors in her diaper later on. They are non-toxic but I just didn't want to have to prove it.

Yummy!!

Just so you all know - I do have another blog going:

http://mannifulkitchen.blogspot.com/

I started it because almost 2 years ago I realized some members in our family are sensitive to wheat (gluten) and possibly casein (milk) too (and cane sugar, pesticides, herbicides, preservatives, artificial colors and flavors). I had no idea how to re-make recipes or what to make. (EVERYTHING, it seems has those things in it!) I didn't have a lot of $$ to spend on recipe books or expensive pre-made gluten-free products. I found recipes online and made them my own (subbed what I needed to in order to fit my families' needs).

I hope it will be a blessing to those who are also starting (or maybe you've been at it for awhile but still love to try new stuff!) out on this food preparation journey. I will confess - a lot of it is "treats" - we have sweet-teeth here!

P.S. - even if you are not on the gluten-free "train" - I usually give both gluten-free and "regular" (for me - yes, I'm a "wheat-eater" - plus wheat is cheaper for those of us who can have it) versions.

Enjoy!

The girls we left behind

I've been waiting for a date and time to write a post about these two little girls that we met when we were adopting Zephaniah. And even though I have, like, NO time I can't stand it any longer and I have to share about them. As many of you know we had accepted a referral for Anastasia but then we learned about more medical issues that Zeph was having and plain ol' reality just hit us when we met these two precious little children. We wanted them both. But we did not know how on Earth we would be able to carry three children plus our little end straggler (our 3 year old). We did not know what it would be like to adjust to so many very young ones. We did not think we would be able to care for the needs of both children. Zeph is going to require some surgeries here, nearby our home and other therapy and such appointments. Anastasia would need very special care - there is a particular doctor in Phily that she really NEEDS to see, who has helped many children like her be able to have more use of their arms and legs. We just knew we could not leave Zeph or Evie and fly several times to Philadelphia. I'd like to add a note here that flying to Phily is NOT required or even necessary - I have since heard there are some great doctors where we are in CA and other places as well - that is not the only reason we chose not to adopt her. If we were not adopting Zeph at that time - if it was just her - we would have taken her in a heartbeat. I'd fly around the world and back for this girl! But we do have to think about all the children in our home and we have to be honest about what we can handle between the two of us. In so much adjustment, in a foreign land, with sleep deprivation - we had to make the hardest decision to allow her to remain available - at the risk of either getting a family who can devote the energy and time for her care - or to see her transferred to a mental institution where she does NOT belong! Ripped my heart to pieces!! We took a chance accepting her referral but meeting both children - made them "real" - these are little people's lives here! She was so weak (lack of stimulation, she lays down most likely all day). I don't know if she'll become strong just from a family like ours with lots of kids - just from "average" play time or if she will need, much more than that (more time devoted just to her alone). We felt we couldn't devote the later. Maybe we could have (hind-sight) - we have to live with that - we had to let go of her so someone else can bring her home. We are praying for a family who feels ready to care for her - whatever she may or may not need. She may surprise her family and be strong before you know it! We know the patience and time will pay-off - just look at her - she is shy and sweet but I just wonder, I just wonder what it would have been like to hear her laugh! We had so much faith through this adoption - pressing through even when it seemed doors were shut. But when we were face to face with this precious angel we were not only stricken with fear of the unknown - we were feeling overwhelmed with both joy and sorrow and our faith was shaken. Should we have pressed on anyways through our fears and taken her anyways? I don't know. I still wonder all the time if we could have made it work, if we could have got her out of there! I feel so human and so finite. I know God has a plan for us and for this little girl. Maybe we were just supposed to meet her so her forever family can find her! Maybe they have no kids and she'll be their first. Maybe they have a bunch of littles like we do but feel strongly that they can handle it and make it work in their particular family. I hope and I pray they will find her, whoever they are - are you her family? Do you know her family? Where is Annie's family???

There is another little girl we met while we were there. I heard her called by another name (probably her birth name) at the orphanage but Reece's Rainbow has listed her as "Tamara". We actually wanted to adopt this little girl too. We felt confident we could handle her special needs along side Zeph's. She is completely mobile. She is smart. She not only talks - she can sing and dance and she can recite lines in a play. We SAW her do this! She was smiling a lot. She was all dolled up for her little play. Then we got a real treat and saw her playing on the playground with her groupa! She kept looking at us and coming up to us and smiling and was very inquisitive. I had read about her condition possibly causing hearing problems - she seemed very much like she could hear as she responded to sound quite well! She was playing in the dirt. We had been told her special need was not on the "list" (new law kids under 5 not available unless the special need is specifically listed on a list). We had specifically asked for ANY other children that our home study approved us for and were told Annie was the only one available. Even after we told them we felt we could not care for Annie as we felt she needed - we asked them to check again for a child who was mobile or near mobile (like Zeph, surgery can be done locally). They said there was NO other children available meeting that criteria. So I was elated today to see that Tamara has been put back up on the RR site and I emailed them and they are not sure why she was apparently un-available while we were there. It is possible that she was not cleared yet for adoption (they have to be up for adoption for 1 year in their country before being available for international adoption). We don't know that answer. We don't know why she also is not part of our family now. I know God knows. I wish I knew. This little girl WILL be transferred soon - possibly to a MENTAL INSTITUTION - she does NOT belong there!!! This little girl looks different. Maybe she has some delays (orphanage life). But she is sweet as pie and to have her as a daughter would be such a blessing! Are you her mother? Her father? Where is her family? Have you met them? Just the shortest time in a mental institution can be so, so damaging to a little child. She needs a family NOW before transfer! If my hubby could get more family leave time (0ff work) and if her fund covered the travel and facilitation fees we'd go get her NOW! I am not kidding here. If her family hasn't found her by the time my husband gets more time available I will be praying for her fund to grow. We are hanging on in hopes that the IRS will not delay our adoption tax credit so we can pay off at least part of the huge loan we had to take out to complete Zeph's adoption. There is just NO WAY we could pay out of pocket or even take out another loan to pay for more adoption expenses. It wouldn't make sense to bring home two kids and then not be too broke to care for them. If that barrier was removed that little girl would have us coming asap! And we're probably not the only ones. If that barrier was removed there are probably other families who would LOVE to adopt either or both of these little girls!! See below the link to a picture and information about Tamara:

http://reecesrainbow.org/12283/tamara-4

Hats, poop, and doctor's appointments!

Hopefully you saw my last post showing-off our darling 4 children all dressed up as something fun to go to a local church's fall festival. Now I want you to see how much we are getting out of this hat - not only does each child play with it but yesterday it turned into a hat switching (yes, the babies were taking turns!) game! Evie and Zeph were practicing being "nice" to each other and they were giggling together and having a blast with their hats.

Then I found this: My little girl playing on the kitchen floor with her tiny creatures and houses and I realized how much of a girl (instead of "baby" girl) she is becoming. It goes fast... so fast. While it is so cute now to see her in this stage - it has been such a joy to have her as a baby too.

And now for the poop. Yesterday morning I woke up to what no mother wants to hear: "Moooommeeee! Zeph took off his pants and diaper and he's getting poop all over!!" After saying, "God, please help me through today!", as I hopped out of bed, I ran to Zeph's crib where, indeed, he had taken off his pj bottoms and diaper and indeed he had smeared poo all over his crib (the actual wood), sheets, mattress, blankets. It was all over him and I will warn you to skip the next part and just go to the photo if you get queezy easily because I almost threw up right there - not just from the smell either. He was putting his hands in his mouth - he was eating poop. I took his shirt off and picked him up carefully (held him out a bit from me) and set him in the tub. He was a little confused - he very much looks forward to his breakfast each morning so he wasn't too happy to be starting out this way. It took me awhile to scrub it all off of him, especially the tiny crevices of his fingers/nubs. I got a towel and picked him up - only to realize (duh, for me) he had also smeared it in his hair. I put him back down - he screamed and threw himself back - he thought he was "all done" and moving on! Nope - sorry kiddo - had to wash the hair out too. Finally he was clean and I got him dressed in a ONE PIECE outfit! I had already ordered suspenders because during the day he tries to take off his pants/shorts and diaper. Why - oh WHY didn't I think ahead that he might do that at night or morning? Footed pjs for you from now on, little Zeph! And the suspenders arrived today - aren't they cute?

Zeph's appointment at the Ortho Dr. went well! They want him to be fitted for a prosthetic leg right away! No surgery to get that started! Yes, indeed, our little Zeph will be WALKING soon! The doctor did mention bringing him to a special appointment in February to be evaluated by a team for the doctor's recommendations for various surgeries for him. But she was certain that there was no need to rush into surgery and that allowing time for settling in and bonding to us would be (of course!) much better for us all for when he does eventually have surgery (on fingers, banding/foot, leg). Zeph has another appointment on Friday to see a neurologist. Pray that this doctor is thorough enough but also gentle and caring.

I leave you with a picture I took this evening. Evie refused her naps today so she fell asleep at lunch - sesame seed butter and honey all over her! And how on Earth does one fall asleep in a chair like this? We didn't know what to do because we had Zeph take Evie's chair that has harness straps (as his shorter leg allows him to simply slip out of a 3 pt. strap) and a dear friend gave us their high chair but it has no straps - so then I remembered that we have a "travel" chair with 3 pt. straps and Evie's been quite happy to eat in it - and now apparently she thinks it makes a great place to dose-off. I was feeding both babies, sitting between them, when I realized she just went OUT. It was too funny not to take a picture!

Some cute pictures today...

Dressing up...

Though we do not celebrate "Halloween" as some do (ghosts, goblins, superstitions, scary things, dead things, death, gore, etc.) we actually encourage our youngsters to play dress-up and use their imaginations as they pretend. We usually attend a church alternative such as a harvest or fall festival. This year there were FOUR to dress-up:

Nathanael: I asked him what he wanted to dress up like and he ran to his closet and grabbed his fireman rain coat - he wore it last year but he didn't care - he wanted to wear it again since it still fit. The hat from last year was destroyed but I found one on sale and he and the rest of the kids play with it all day! So here he is - our little hero!

The choice for Zephaniah - easy! The size 2t monkey costume that Nathanael wore years ago - it was so cute - I knew it would look adorable on Zeph too - and it sure did!

Evie got to wear her sister's costume that I made two years ago but I could not find the green tutu so she wore shorts and this actually worked - she pulled off that "woodland" look so well, don't you think?



Then there's Arielle. Hmmm. Had to start new with her. Found some cheap, on-sale, but sparkly (impressive to a little girl) material and came up with a "mermaid" costume. I tried a few times to adjust the top so it wouldn't hang off of her but I was rushing to get pictures of the kids before the sun went down (I LOVE natural lighting for photos) - so the final adjustment happened after I took pictures. I also braided her hair and inserted a pearl-looking (bead) bracelet. I was impressed that she held still enough for me to do all that!

Sermon

Found this - the sermon our pastor preached the day we shared with our church our plan to adopt Zeph... coincidence? There are none with God!

2 Weeks HOME!!!

Two weeks ago we came HOME! I have to say the first week was rough - mostly because Evie got hives and then we had kids throwing up, we didn't feel so great, had hardly any sleep (jet-lag), and the list goes on. This past week, our second week home has had it's challenges but it's still SO wonderful to be home and to have our FOUR kiddos here with us! I put Zeph in this oh-too-cute "rocker" outfit today and had to take some pictures. He just ATE up the camera with his smiles (he didn't literally eat our camera). We even "rocked" bedtime tonight with the kids - I got my guitar out and we all sang songs, worship songs, silly songs, kid's songs. Then they all went to bed peacefully - NOT! Ha, ha! Eventually they were all in bed and soon so shall I be! Happy night!

I LOVE this face (below), don't you?

In Mommy's lap (below):

Feel free to ignore the laundry piled up inside our doorway. Zeph was playing "coo-coo" (Peek-a-boo) with our door.